Seen Ways, Counted Steps

I feel like, in the past two weeks, my entire life has turned around. I mean, nothing new on the outside has happened. I just feel like my entire paradigm has changed. I hardly remember the past year...I just remember that I tried to take things one day at a time. I remember struggling constantly. I think I kind of walked through it like a zombie...the only parts I remember clearly are when I was alone with God, when He spoke to me, or touched me, and soothed away the hurt as He sang over me the words He knew I needed to hear. Other than that, everything is kind of foggy.

So, it's like breathing fresh air for the first time now. I don't know what happened...I think God healed a lot in me recently in places I didn't know how to reach in myself. I've finally gotten to the point now where I believe that God is all that I'll ever need.

I realized recently that I've been struggling with believing that God has good in store for me. I've struggled with believing that He loves me, that He's faithful, that He's...God. All of those good and beautiful things He is.

But I can't live by what I feel. I have to live by what I know - and what I know is that God adores everything about me and wants to shower me with good things. I mean, I know that in my relationships, I want to do things for the other person...it's not about what they can do for me. I want to make them feel good, and loved...I want to give them gifts that have meaning. And God feels that way about me!

I am so thankful for this season I'm in...God is building me up from the ground again. He is showing me how much He loves me, how much I'm worth, what I have to be thankful for and what I have to look forward to. I know I'm filled to be emptied again...the seed I've recieved, I will sow.